Every now and then, when I have some free time, I like to look through my friends' or acquaintances' blogs. Sometimes I get annoyed about how they post about losing followers, it just seems very whiny and attention craving. But those feelings of irritation are pretty rare. A lot of people that I check up on are obviously going through some rough stuff. Sometimes they will publish text posts that are practically throbbing with loneliness and pain, other times they will post pictures that they connected with. A lot of these pictures are about death, sometimes they show someone else's self-inflicted scars. Basically, you can tell that they are suffering just by looking through their blog pages.
A lot of these people are people that I don't know super well, we only see each other at school, only ever really make small talk. Seeing their pain makes me want to help...somehow. But how am I supposed to do that? I don't have a magical cure for loneliness or for depression. I don't live close enough to be able to drive to their houses when they need someone to talk to. I don't even know them well enough to ask them why they are so hurt. I can understand how they feel, and the last thing most people in that position want is someone else's pity. I know that some people would tell me that I'm not helpless, and that I can pray for these people. Which is true, I can pray for them... but still, praying doesn't feel like ACTION to me. Sorry to all of the die hard prayer team people (if you are reading this) but I just don't feel the same about it as you might. I want to DO something, not just kneel before an unfathomable God and pour my heart into something that may not happen. I want to take action, but how can I?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Procrastination
Well--
it doesn't seem like anyone reads this, but oh well. It's nice to just get your thoughts out there, almost like talking to someone who is not judgmental at all, or maybe like talking to someone who can't see or talk. Yes, I am procrastinating right now...I have a pile, not a very big pile I assure you, of schoolwork that is waiting for me. I would love to get ahead in my classes which would mean less stress later on, but I'm a senior and I can feel the senioritis setting in. Also, the two classes that I have resolved to work on today are incredibly boring to me. I'm beginning to wonder why I chose to take an economics class and a statistics class. Well actually the statistics class will allow me to graduate this year, so that seems like a good reason. I don't have a excuse for taking economics, I could graduate without it, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea. Maybe it would, if the teacher would treat us students like we were actually in high school. He had us review how to write a paragraph at the beginning of the year. I know...it's kind of ridiculous.
I'm also thinking about a stupid thing that I did a while ago. Currently it seems like it might have a positive outcome, but it's still embarrassing. But everyone makes mistakes, and I don't see the point in losing sleep over something I will probably laugh about in a few months. I have much more pressing concerns, like applying to colleges, and taking the SATs. I think I need a better stress management system, maybe I would do less stupid things if I wasn't overwhelmed and worn out. Hmmm... well, back to the small pile of uninteresting schoolwork... fair thee well cyber world...
it doesn't seem like anyone reads this, but oh well. It's nice to just get your thoughts out there, almost like talking to someone who is not judgmental at all, or maybe like talking to someone who can't see or talk. Yes, I am procrastinating right now...I have a pile, not a very big pile I assure you, of schoolwork that is waiting for me. I would love to get ahead in my classes which would mean less stress later on, but I'm a senior and I can feel the senioritis setting in. Also, the two classes that I have resolved to work on today are incredibly boring to me. I'm beginning to wonder why I chose to take an economics class and a statistics class. Well actually the statistics class will allow me to graduate this year, so that seems like a good reason. I don't have a excuse for taking economics, I could graduate without it, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea. Maybe it would, if the teacher would treat us students like we were actually in high school. He had us review how to write a paragraph at the beginning of the year. I know...it's kind of ridiculous.
I'm also thinking about a stupid thing that I did a while ago. Currently it seems like it might have a positive outcome, but it's still embarrassing. But everyone makes mistakes, and I don't see the point in losing sleep over something I will probably laugh about in a few months. I have much more pressing concerns, like applying to colleges, and taking the SATs. I think I need a better stress management system, maybe I would do less stupid things if I wasn't overwhelmed and worn out. Hmmm... well, back to the small pile of uninteresting schoolwork... fair thee well cyber world...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Drama
Drama is annoying, right? I've been seeing a lot of it lately. Friends of mine have been going through some tough stuff, even though I don't know all the details for all the situations. Putting up with all the crazy things that happen in life is difficult! Watching old friends grow distant over little things is always going to be painful. Having people insult you and talk about you behind your back is never going to be okay.
I think a lot of times we get too wrapped up in all the negative things that are happening to us, and we forget to just sit back and look for the simple good things in life. I will be the first to admit that I'm guilty of doing this. One of the best remedies for stress (I think) is just sitting and watching the sun set. It's really peaceful and beautiful to watch, and for me it helps to chill me out. Right now I am actually home sick from school, my brother decided to share his cold with me. But even though I feel kinda awful at the moment, I still have a lot to look forward to. For example, my parents have agreed to let me steal part of the basement and use it as my art studio. And also I get to spend time with a good friend and some horses pretty soon. So I just encourage everyone to look for the good things today, no matter what bad things have been happening recently.
I think a lot of times we get too wrapped up in all the negative things that are happening to us, and we forget to just sit back and look for the simple good things in life. I will be the first to admit that I'm guilty of doing this. One of the best remedies for stress (I think) is just sitting and watching the sun set. It's really peaceful and beautiful to watch, and for me it helps to chill me out. Right now I am actually home sick from school, my brother decided to share his cold with me. But even though I feel kinda awful at the moment, I still have a lot to look forward to. For example, my parents have agreed to let me steal part of the basement and use it as my art studio. And also I get to spend time with a good friend and some horses pretty soon. So I just encourage everyone to look for the good things today, no matter what bad things have been happening recently.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Just Do Something!
Over the course of the last few days I have noticed that I usually like to be doing some activity constantly. For example, when I watch tv, I really hate just sitting there for hours on end. I enjoy watching tv (or movies) most when I combine that time with another activity. Usually my multitasking involves knitting, crocheting, or some form of artwork. This past Sunday I managed to injure the index finger on my right hand while playing frisbee at the Labor Day Picnic. I'll put it this way, I am not left handed. Now, thankfully my finger wasn't broken or dislocated (my mom and I were actually thinking I could have fractured it). I jammed it pretty thoroughly, however. So my finger has been quite swollen and painful for the last few days (in fact it still is) not to mention I have had it in a splint to reduce my range of movement.
Yesterday I actually got really short tempered with my family because I was unable to draw! My inability to play World of Warcraft may have contributed to that as well. :) My unhappiness really made me think about the activities that are important to me. It is interesting to see how dependent I am on self expression, but at the same time it was a relief to discover. Lately I've been thinking about a couple different decisions and events that are coming up in my life.
I'm a senior in high school this year, so in a few short months I will be graduating and moving on to a new chapter in my life: college. I would really love to go to art school, but the reality of the business world is that the term "starving artist" is no joke. I want to do something I love, but I also want to be able to support myself properly. So I'm conflicted about what I should do with that decision. Also, the new youth group worship team that I have been a part of for many months is going to be undergoing some changes soon. Christian (the youth pastor and worship leader) is hoping to have at least a portion of the team ready to be on stage within the next few months. The problem is that there are about 7 people all on this team as vocalists, and only one of us can harmonize. This means that soon we will have to have the dreaded "talk" to see who stays and who goes. Scary!
So I guess I really need some peace and clarity to be able to sit down and work through some things in my life right now. And it is such a relief to have a bit of my turmoil recorded somewhere. I believe there is something theuraputic in writing (or typing) out feelings and problems. My apologies for this monster of a post. I hope I didn't put anyone to sleep, and I promise I will try to rein in the post monster in the days to come.
Yesterday I actually got really short tempered with my family because I was unable to draw! My inability to play World of Warcraft may have contributed to that as well. :) My unhappiness really made me think about the activities that are important to me. It is interesting to see how dependent I am on self expression, but at the same time it was a relief to discover. Lately I've been thinking about a couple different decisions and events that are coming up in my life.
I'm a senior in high school this year, so in a few short months I will be graduating and moving on to a new chapter in my life: college. I would really love to go to art school, but the reality of the business world is that the term "starving artist" is no joke. I want to do something I love, but I also want to be able to support myself properly. So I'm conflicted about what I should do with that decision. Also, the new youth group worship team that I have been a part of for many months is going to be undergoing some changes soon. Christian (the youth pastor and worship leader) is hoping to have at least a portion of the team ready to be on stage within the next few months. The problem is that there are about 7 people all on this team as vocalists, and only one of us can harmonize. This means that soon we will have to have the dreaded "talk" to see who stays and who goes. Scary!
So I guess I really need some peace and clarity to be able to sit down and work through some things in my life right now. And it is such a relief to have a bit of my turmoil recorded somewhere. I believe there is something theuraputic in writing (or typing) out feelings and problems. My apologies for this monster of a post. I hope I didn't put anyone to sleep, and I promise I will try to rein in the post monster in the days to come.
New design with a side of new subject matter
Hurray for the "design your own template" option! I'm loving the colorfulness of the new background and the color palette reflects my personality a little more than cutesy polka-dots. But anyway...
It has been a very long time since I have posted anything on here. I've come to realize that posting a daily verse doesn't really fit into my routine very well. Not to say that I have stopped spending time with God, I'm just going about it in a way that is more meaningful to me. This space is going to become a place where I can keep something similar to a virtual diary, a place where I can get my thoughts recorded. I will most likely continue to put verses up here, just maybe not everyday. Hopefully everyone is enjoying the new design!
It has been a very long time since I have posted anything on here. I've come to realize that posting a daily verse doesn't really fit into my routine very well. Not to say that I have stopped spending time with God, I'm just going about it in a way that is more meaningful to me. This space is going to become a place where I can keep something similar to a virtual diary, a place where I can get my thoughts recorded. I will most likely continue to put verses up here, just maybe not everyday. Hopefully everyone is enjoying the new design!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
2 Thessalonians 1:3
“[Thanksgiving and Prayer] We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.”- 2 Thessalonians 1:3
To be completely honest, this verse doesn't make a ton of sense to me, probably because it is out of context. I think that the overall theme, however, is that we need to thank God always. When you think about that, it's true. Just think, what has God done for you? Well he died for us, he loves us, he protects us....this list could go on for a really long time! I think that is really cool. Usually we thank people when they do us a favor or some gesture of kindness, but God is continually doing these things for us. Thank God for God. :)
To be completely honest, this verse doesn't make a ton of sense to me, probably because it is out of context. I think that the overall theme, however, is that we need to thank God always. When you think about that, it's true. Just think, what has God done for you? Well he died for us, he loves us, he protects us....this list could go on for a really long time! I think that is really cool. Usually we thank people when they do us a favor or some gesture of kindness, but God is continually doing these things for us. Thank God for God. :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Matthew 5:43-45
“[Love for Enemies] "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”- Matthew 5:43-45
How hard is it to pray for the people who you don't like or those who have hurt you? It can be really hard! Everyone has probably read the part about loving your neighbor, it is a recurring theme throughout the Bible. I had to read this verse a few times because I tend to want to zone out as soon as I read that part. I almost expect it to be a repeat of that same classic rule, but it really isn't. This verse tells us that while we are called to love our neighbors, we are also called to love our enemies and pray for those who turn against us. I think that in a perfect world Christianity would really be like this. Just think: there would have been no religious wars because we would all be loving our enemies. If you love someone, you don't just go to war against them.
This verse really makes me think. It is also challenging to me. A lot of times I just want to take the easy way out, and that really isn't possible here. It's kind of impossible to partially love your enemy. It's all or nothing. This is one of the harder aspects of Christianity in my opinion. Loving people who dislike you and maybe even persecute you is incredibly hard, and it is a test of devotion to our cause as Christians.
How hard is it to pray for the people who you don't like or those who have hurt you? It can be really hard! Everyone has probably read the part about loving your neighbor, it is a recurring theme throughout the Bible. I had to read this verse a few times because I tend to want to zone out as soon as I read that part. I almost expect it to be a repeat of that same classic rule, but it really isn't. This verse tells us that while we are called to love our neighbors, we are also called to love our enemies and pray for those who turn against us. I think that in a perfect world Christianity would really be like this. Just think: there would have been no religious wars because we would all be loving our enemies. If you love someone, you don't just go to war against them.
This verse really makes me think. It is also challenging to me. A lot of times I just want to take the easy way out, and that really isn't possible here. It's kind of impossible to partially love your enemy. It's all or nothing. This is one of the harder aspects of Christianity in my opinion. Loving people who dislike you and maybe even persecute you is incredibly hard, and it is a test of devotion to our cause as Christians.
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